Theme for today is "blue". My mood seems in turbulence, feeling so sad for just a little thing, feeling miserably uncontrollable and my chest seems ready to explode.
People said, don't write in public media when you're angry, sad or disappointed since what might comes are a bad words which sometimes can hurt, either hurting others or hurting yourself. But today I just want to write something to release some burden in my heart.
Sometimes I'm feeling so lonely in this world, that no one cares for what I feel. People will always consider me like a superwoman, supermom, wonderwoman, whatever........But that's not exactly true. Sometimes I missed being just an ordinary girl, who has a vulnerable and weak side, I'm not always as strong as it seems. This kind a problem was already there, sitting on the corner of my heart long time ago. I'm always the one who took care of everything and every problem in my family. My husband doesn't seems to give a dim concern about anything. He only know how to work, earn money, give all the money to me and I handle the rest. Yeah....was it something good, part of it. I know he's a good man, but I just need a little help in running this family, sometimes I'm tired, sometimes I'm sick and no one to replace my role. In any condition I had to deal with everything. GOD I'm really exhausted..............
I want my husband to be someone I can count on when I'm not ready to fight, I need someone stronger that can protect me. I should not the one who always step on the first every time we face a problem. Sometimes I need someone to be the shield for me, where I can hide when I'm afraid.......
Huft.....this blues feeling maybe related to PMS syndrome, it's close to the ETA of the monthly visitor, hahahah but yeah....this kind a thing, this kind a problem always be my biggest problem with my hubby. I was complaining a lot, but as we can't change peoples behavior I tried to accept it. Only that sometimes it still feels hurt. What a life.........this is the life I chosen years ago, no need to feel sorry.......
I need to cry..........now......
People said, don't write in public media when you're angry, sad or disappointed since what might comes are a bad words which sometimes can hurt, either hurting others or hurting yourself. But today I just want to write something to release some burden in my heart.
Sometimes I'm feeling so lonely in this world, that no one cares for what I feel. People will always consider me like a superwoman, supermom, wonderwoman, whatever........But that's not exactly true. Sometimes I missed being just an ordinary girl, who has a vulnerable and weak side, I'm not always as strong as it seems. This kind a problem was already there, sitting on the corner of my heart long time ago. I'm always the one who took care of everything and every problem in my family. My husband doesn't seems to give a dim concern about anything. He only know how to work, earn money, give all the money to me and I handle the rest. Yeah....was it something good, part of it. I know he's a good man, but I just need a little help in running this family, sometimes I'm tired, sometimes I'm sick and no one to replace my role. In any condition I had to deal with everything. GOD I'm really exhausted..............
I want my husband to be someone I can count on when I'm not ready to fight, I need someone stronger that can protect me. I should not the one who always step on the first every time we face a problem. Sometimes I need someone to be the shield for me, where I can hide when I'm afraid.......
Huft.....this blues feeling maybe related to PMS syndrome, it's close to the ETA of the monthly visitor, hahahah but yeah....this kind a thing, this kind a problem always be my biggest problem with my hubby. I was complaining a lot, but as we can't change peoples behavior I tried to accept it. Only that sometimes it still feels hurt. What a life.........this is the life I chosen years ago, no need to feel sorry.......
I need to cry..........now......
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